If I did a photoshoot at every place I have hiked that I found inspiring…well let’s just say my body of work would be a lot more prolific. It’s a kind of grief I carry, walking through all of these amazing natural spaces (that are changing and disappearing by the hour) and not being able to capture them the way I want to, with a human being in the frame. (I do on occasion take a selfie but it’s not the same thing for me.) Oftentimes it’s something small, like a particularly mossy log that is just begging for a bare butt to sit on it. Tall reeds blowing in the wind and shining in the sunlight that beckon for a long-haired human to flow alongside them. A vast, empty prairie on an overcast day that invites someone to dance in big, soulful movements. Strong shadows on sandstone. Small ripples at a pond’s edge. Leaves drifting down in a birch forest. I see nature and I see photographs, always.
So it wasn’t anything new when Alex, Dobby and I were hiking in Boise and I fell in love with this space. Weird, because it’s smack-dab in the middle of a town, although you wouldn’t know it from the images. (We photographers are magicians.) It was a lightly rainy day, cloudy and moody and all of the scrub and sage was just saturated with deep, muted color. I wanted to photograph someone, but I didn’t have any clients on the books (and to be honest I’m not actively trying to get any out here on tour either). So I laid my dream down and we went home and I got on with my day, feeling that familiar frustration and a sense of loss at yet another idea left unrealized. Except for some reason this time it kept nagging, which is a tad strange because the spot isn’t that epic. I’ve been to some amazing places on tour that truly haunt me because I didn’t photograph someone. What we are talking about here is just a hill with some low, scraggy vegetation. Maybe it wasn’t just about the spot. Maybe its more about the fact that I haven’t been shooting because I haven’t been getting paid to do so. I have been holding my dreams hostage in the meantime as some weird, twisted protest that only hurts me. And I’m starting to rebel against that because at the end of the day I have to create in order to feel alive. I have to create to process emotions and remember places that matter to me. I have to create because dreaming up photoshoots is something I do, and have done, no matter where I am or what I’m looking at. It is like breathing for me. I wouldn’t say it’s my purpose but it is my talent.
Later that day as we were walking Dobby back near the hotel I saw Marina in the distance and I just knew I had my person. (I also don’t even know a lot of people on tour so there’s that.) I’ve already photographed so she knows me and how I work. She is up for any dream I have and is excellent at both following direction and taking a prompt and flowing with it. So I ran across the street like a half-crazed person interrupting her conversation with someone else (sorry! I come across as a little unhinged when I’m excited.) and yelled at her my idea. She said yes, obviously.
The main reason why I wanted to photograph someone here is because I had this idea for a panned out shot of a person moving on a big hill. In fact I think I even told Marina, “I don’t really care who it is I just need a body. It’ll be far away.” Well those particular images were just a blip during the actual photoshoot, the main event was Marina in the shrubs. The irony is not lost on me that when I get a person in front of my camera I want them in FRONT of my camera, not so far away that I can’t see a hand caressing a face. In hindsight, for the far away images I should have split the difference in the distance between her and I, so you get the scene and you still see her in detail. I put them in here even though I’m not sure I nailed them so you can see what I mean. But it’s nice to try new things, this is how you grow and learn.
Obviously I love these images, particularly the ones of her lying down. I’m a big fan of people wearing clothes and then pulling them off. It’s intimate, it’s emotive, it’s a little less expected than if she were to be wearing lingerie. And I’m proud of myself for being bold enough to act on my desire to photograph someone here on such short notice without any elaborate planning or crazy wardrobe. I just had her get up early, throw on one of my dresses, and we played. Kind of like the good ole days when I first started out and was just doing this whole photography thing for fun. Hmmm. Maybe I’m onto something.
