Buckle up buttercup, this is gonna be a long one, but I think it’s pretty good.
This here is Kim’s WILDCARD LOOK. When you book ‘The Whole Shebang’ package it comes with 3 main ‘looks’ or ‘concepts.’ You dictate these, they are your base ideas, I just help you hone in on them, adding and tweaking and creating to make them a reality. It’s a collaborative process, but you are the one who says ‘yes I like that dress’ or ‘no I hate that pose.’ You’re in the driver’s seat and know exactly what to expect from each of those concepts.
In addition to the 3 looks you also get either a portion of the photoshoot where we shoot nude portraits (you have a hand in the planning of this, talking in very specific detail about the level of spiciness you’d like to achieve, from classic and demure to full on erotica). OR a wildcard look.
I created the wildcard look for two reasons- firstly because most people come to me wanting to essentially be a muse. They want to pay me to ‘just do my thing’ (WILD, I know!). They love my work, and they trust the magic in my head.
Secondly, well, it’s a selfish reason.
When I see a human being, I see art. I literally start to get visions of all the types of images I could bring into being with them. (I cannot turn this off; it comes unbidden always.) This is the customer I’m helping at the merch booth at Wicked. This is the front desk person at the hotel. This is the businessman on the street. Everyday, normal people. All bodies, all ages, all ethnicities and genders, the ‘flawed’ and the ‘flawless’. People truly become my muse, each and every one of them. Yes, you too.
So it’s only natural for me to want to be able to act on these creative impressions. To get them out into the world. It’s a compulsion that’s really hard for me to put into words except maybe to say that when I get to create with absolutely no thought to if someone will like it or understand it, when I get to excise what is in my soul, it feels Godlike. I’m not a religious person (I’m a spiritual person) but I feel like I touch the Oneness. And let me tell you- It is the most gratifying feeling in the world to be paid to play. I think it is the highest honor to be given carte blanche from a client.
So yeah, the Wildcard Look means that I get to do whatever I want with you (obviously we talk ahead of time about nudity comfort level, etc). It will be a nearly complete surprise. You may or may not like it. You don’t have to. This is the risk you take, because I won’t be focusing on what I think you would like or want for this concept, I’ll be thinking about what I want. Let’s be real here: if you choose to have the Wildcard Look, you’re paying me to be selfish. So, thanks!
Kim chose the Wildcard Look. Obviously.
The CONCEPT–
My ideas started flowing immediately. I wanted painterly. I wanted her to be a painting or look like a painting or feel like a painting. I wanted her to become art. (Fun fact: my original photography name was Duende Boudoir. DUENDE, in addition to being a fairylike creature, conveys the mysterious power of art to deeply move a person.) I wanted her to become Duende. (I want this for everyone in different ways. Maybe that’s why I love Wildcard sessions…)
So of course I started with the outfit.
The OUTFIT–
I found this gown. I sensed it was the one, even though it was much too big and too prim of a silhouette. I did not care, I knew it was magic distilled. And I understood how to let it out.
First, I turned it backwards, then zipped 3/4 the way up. Then I took it and shifted things so one shoulder was showing and tied the belt around the waist and bunched up the skirt. Voila, new dress.
The headpiece, well half of that is from a cemetery trash can. When I see decaying beauty just lying there, I snatch it up. And I’d like to think the person whose grave they were originally on is smiling at the second life these flowers are getting up to. The other half is from a bouquet Kim had purchased at a farmer’s market in Port Washington, Wisconsin.
The HAIR AND MAKEUP–
Elle also got to play, that’s kind of the deal when you book her and also do the Wildcard Look. We actually got our start a long time ago with me dreaming up photoshoot concepts and her doing the hair and makeup, both of us fueled by Redbull and youth and fewer bills to pay. It was my favorite thing. This is just us doing it as more experienced adults who get paid for their ART. We sip coffee and water now thankyouverymuch.
Elle took my graveyard trash and Kim’s farmer’s market bouquet and turned it into a flower headpiece that is its own work of art. She brushed Kim with hues of orange and pink and yellow. A masterpiece.
The LOCATION and BACKDROP–
I wanted to place Kim outside. I wanted it to look out of time. I wanted her to be in the woods and the weeds, a forgotten yet alive place. I also knew I wanted to put a backdrop out there. I had no idea how or where this was going to happen, only that it had to.
So I went on a walk in the woods at a place I thought might work. I knew that there was an old set of stairs that she could sit on. I traipsed around the forest and found a spot I thought could work for the backdrop. It was by a stream which was nice, but it was practically on the walking path. (I don’t mind working in public, but I do prefer privacy whenever possible.) I went home. I went back the next day. I was distracted off the path by a bright orange plant in a sea of green. I went to go look at it and stumbled upon the ruin of a foundation. This was the place. I paid attention to the signs.
Then I had to get a backdrop. I ordered a canvas painter’s drop cloth. It was fine but I wanted it to be a bit dirty. I asked Kim if she wanted to help me with the process of making the backdrop a little bit more special and she agreed. We dragged that sucker through the woods and the dirt. We stomped on it and ground our shoes into it, but it still wasn’t getting very dirty. So, we got it wet in the creek and dragged it back. This time it got dirtier, but it was also a LOT heavier. I had the idea of adding more, doing more. I was a little scared that I was going to fuck the whole thing up, but I trusted my instincts. And I wanted to stick to natural ingredients. All in all, we added the following- a dark berry I found on a bush nearby, a red berry from a plant the grounds crew had piled up for discard (I guess I have a thing for trash plants), brewed tea, curry powder, matcha, turmeric, paprika, and crushed charcoal. That last one was Kim’s idea. This was all done prior to shoot day, mind you.
The SHOOT-
We go into the woods. Magic is made. Everything is wonderful, despite the light rain and the horrendous mosquito clouds and the uncomfortable poses Kim had to lay in. Or maybe because of all those things it makes what we created that much more special, at least to us. I even made sure to get the orange plant that beckoned to me on my walk in some of the shots. As we were leaving and doing one last standing pose in the field, I backed up and into a ground bee nest. Bees were immediately swarming me and going up into and trapped in my skirt. We ran. I got stung 6 times. It was Mother Nature saying, “Enough! You have an abundance of photos! Be done!” Kim wasn’t stung at all, just very breathless. We earned these images.
To me, these photos speak of strength and softness. Of owning one’s inherent beauty, of awe and wonder and communion in and with the natural world.
These images are art.
Thank you Kim for allowing me to make you my muse.
